Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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