You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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