Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
