You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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