You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
