there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
