yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
