so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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