you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
