Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
