OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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