We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
