Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
