Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
