Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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