you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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