You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
