There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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