Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
