porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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