Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
