He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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