It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
