Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
