dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
