Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
