No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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