I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Even my vagina gasped.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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