His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You are the jesus of drinking
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
