How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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