You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
