They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drake has all the answers
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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