I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
