Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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