Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
