When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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