yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
