idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
