Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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