i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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