My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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