I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm really busy with my period
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