Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
NoShamevember. You game?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
