Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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