Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
