that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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