im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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