Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
