you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
