White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize