I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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