the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
