? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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