I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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