Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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