Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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